Excuse me.

dialogue between A and B. scene takes place in a crowded train station. Both A and B are waiting for the train. A is a middle-aged man dressed in a long-sleeved white shirt and white trousers. B is a youth dressed casually in street wear. The former is standing still reading a newspaper, a briefcase at his feet. The latter is fidgeting, fiddling about with his handphone, composing an SMS.

[B knocks into A a few times while fidgeting around.]

A: Excuse me?
[B ignores him]
A: Excuse me?
[B ignores him again, focusing on the SMS he is typing. He accidentally knocks into A yet again.]
A: If you haven't noticed, this is the fourth time you have knocked into me.
B: I'm sorry, but do you have a problem with that? [continuing to sms]
A: Yes, in case you havent noticed, i do.
B: Oh, just move aside or something.
A: If you might have noticed, I refuse to budge.
B: Your problem then.
A: Excuse me, you're the one with the problem here. Knocking into me with no apparent reason Is a problem.
[B chooses to concentrate on his SMSing]
A: Excuse me, I can't believe how incongruous your behaviour is.
B: You're excused.
A: If you haven't noticed, I have decided not to talk to you.
B: Fine.
A: Excuse me. Fine.
[PA system announces 'yellow line' announcement. pause.]
A: Excuse me, if you haven't noticed, you're behind the yellow line. That is dangerous.
[B ignores him again]
A: Excuse me, I'm saying this for your own good.
B: You're not my mom.
A: [shakes head] If you haven't noticed, Youths these days -
[A's phone rings. He picks it up, starts talking. B decides to finish sending his SMS, and takes out a comic book, opening it]
A: Excuse me. And as i was saying, youths these days are just incongruous. Fiddling with their phones, [stealing a look at B] reading comic books, dressing up in bad clothing. [puts down phone]

A: Excuse me, I've been asked to do a social survey.
B: Go away. I'm reading.
A: [scribbling into a notebook] I've noticed. Tan Ah Kow. 16. reads comic books.
B: My name isn't Ah Kow. [pauses]. It's Ah Mao.
A: I've noticed. Tan Ah Mao. 16. reads comic books. rude in language and tone. [looking up] Excuse me, tell me about yourself. What do your parents work as?
B: Um. My mom's a secretary. My dad works as an engineer with the PUB.
A: I've noticed. Middle-income family. Probable residence 4-room HDB flat.
B: I think you're sick.
A: I've noticed. Healthy, virile, useful. [looks up]. Excuse me. Congratulations, you have passed with flying colours.
B: Do I get paid peanuts?
A: Excuse me. Being useful is a duty. I've noticed. Congratulations.
B: Whatever.

[train comes.]